


Just give me a reason

by oyechi



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2young - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Not Beta Read, Romance, Slice of Life, from boyfriend to exes, markjae - Freeform, slight psychological stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5346794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oyechi/pseuds/oyechi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Choi Youngjae noticed that his boyfriend, Mark Tuan, has been a little distant. </p><p>And he has no idea why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***Originally was a oneshot, but I decided to make a continuation of it, hence the special chapters. Another oldie except for the special chapters. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope it's worth the read~

**Choi Youngjae** and **Mark Tuan** were the hottest couple ever in the whole university campus. It wasn’t even an opinion of someone, it was a fact. When the couple passed people by, hands interlocked with one another, they set the crowd wild with jealousy. It was another fact that the hottest couple was one of the hottest guys alive, and they just so happened to like each other. Of course, the couple had to go through the hardships of being accepted by society (though they didn’t really care) and the cold, judging glares of other people. But once it was accepted, everything was worth it. People they didn’t know would randomly greet and congratulate them or would have knowing smiles on their faces. The whole ordeal was overwhelming at first, but they preferred that over being hated on.

If you think its pretty cliché, then the way they got together was even more cliché. It was the classic love story where they both love each other, but neither knows about each other’s feelings. All of their friends were sick of their fluff act and feeling like freaking third wheels because once they would start talking to each other, they would be in their own little world. It was obvious to everyone else they were in love with one another except them. One day, their friends did them a little favor. They faked notes and made them meet up behind the school gym. Once they found out it was a fake, they were suddenly filled up with a hidden courage and confessed at the same time toe each other. Since then, it’s been history.

They were always seen together probably because after a year or two, they decided to live together. They were all smiles with one another, still acting like a new couple by shyly poking each other in each other’s belly and avoiding eye contact as they turn red. Their eyes sparkled when they looked at each other like they were looking at their future husband. It wouldn’t be a surprise to anyone if they did happen to be each other’s half and get married. Everyone was waiting for it to happen. What was stopping them anyways?

Well, maybe the fact Mark Tuan wouldn’t hold his hand as often as he used to. Or maybe the fact Mark Tuan would stay out longer and arrive home late, reeking of alcohol. There was also the fact that Mark Tuan didn’t quite have the same sparkle in his eyes when they shared eye contact now. Mark Tuan, the one Choi Youngjae was used to and loves dearly, was now cold and distant like a stranger would be.

And Choi Youngjae honestly didn’t know why.

Of course, like every couple that exists, they had their fights. They would be meaningless and harmless fights that when he tries to remember them, the memory would seem so distant and fuzzy like it was all a dream. Their nasty fights, however, were another thing completely. He clearly remembered each one of their nasty fights like they had been yesterday.

They had a total of three nasty and big fights, and each one of them had their own unique characteristic. Their first fight had been a couple of months later they got together. Both of the makes were in a foul mood that day and nothing good ever came from them in a foul mood. They both sat down with their group of friends in a café, that had opened up recently, and all of them started to talk. It somehow ended with all of them sharing about their previous relationships, and Mark openly shared about his. “I’m still friends with some of my ex- girlfriends.”

For some reason, this came as a shock to Youngjae. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, Jae. We’re still friends.” The pretty boy repeated, a little confused with the reaction.

“Mark, you do know they harassed me, right?”

“I do.”

Youngjae couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “And?”

“They changed, Jae. In fact, they want to apologize to you.”

This is where things started to take a nasty turn. The cutie was already in a foul mood but now he was furious. He parted his lips to speak but instead he scoffed in disbelief, his lips tugging at the end to a smirk. “You’re always like this.”

Mark was alarmed now and he furrowed his brows. “Like what?”

“You just blindly trust people and then get stabbed in the back.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Uh, yeah, you do.”

“Well, at least I don’t have fucking trust issues because my parents didn’t cheat on one another.” Youngjae’s eyes widened at the statement and he looked at his boyfriend shocked. For a long time neither of them spoke up, and continued having their eye contest. There was so much more being exchanged between them that their friend’s couldn’t ever understand. In the end, Youngjae packed up his stuff and left the café, not once looking back. Although his boyfriend deserved a slap, it just didn’t seem worth it. Karma will get him back.

This fight lasted for weeks and if it wasn’t for their friends doing them a favor again, it would have been a month. It was hard getting them to agree to meet each other again, but once they faced each other, all of their walls came down and their feelings were washed away in that instant. They cried and kissed each other passionately before snuggling in each other’s arm in their apartment.

Their second big fight lasted two months and they didn’t talk to each other at all. They ignored each other’s existence when they passed each other in the university and during class. They even went as far as staying in their friend’s houses because they didn’t want to see each other. This time, their fight was just the two of them alone and they were making out. Mark felt like it was time to further than kissing so he sneaked his hand under Youngjae’s shirt… only to be stopped.

“What are you doing?” the cutie asked, furrowing his brows.

The pretty boy visibly gulped. “I just thought that we could take it to another level…”

“I’m not ready for that.” Youngjae stated as a matter of a fact, and once more reconnected their lips only to be pushed away gently. He blinked many times, his reaction a little too similar to Mark’s. “What’s wrong?”

Mark ran a hand through his hair, a bit impatient. “Well, I’m completely turned off now. I can’t believe you don’t trust me yet.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Before you make love to someone, you need to trust them.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Mark.” Youngjae rolled his eyes. “Of course I trust you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do!”

“Then why won’t you ever trust me to help you with your family problems?!” The pretty boy raised his voice in frustration. It wasn’t supposed to end like this…

“That’s none of your fucking business, Tuan.” And just like their first fight, Youngjae picked up his stuff and left, never turning back to look again. The only difference was that this time they both returned to their homes after two months of ignoring each other, they immediately apologized to each other.  

The last fight was the nastiest of all and not to mention, pretty recent too. “So do you plan on getting married any time soon?” a classmate asked them, ignoring the way how Mark stiffened at the question. Youngjae noticed it though, but he ignored it swiftly by gushing over the idea. Once they were alone, the cutie stared at him for a long time.

“I’m guessing you don’t want to get married.” Youngjae said, trying to sound cool and composed.

“I don’t…” the pretty boy admitted, his eyes never meeting his boyfriend.

“Oh – kay.”

“Okay?” He was surprised that Youngjae let him off the hook for once.

“I get it. You just don’t feel prepared yet.” Silence fell for a long time and Youngjae was very suspicious about his behavior. “Right?”

“Riiiigggghhhhttt…”

The cutie huffed before smiling sweetly at his boyfriend. “You’re a dick, you know that right?”

“Riggh- wait, what?” And the thing about this fight was their indifference towards one another. If one was seen with someone else, the other wouldn’t give two fucks at all. Rumors started to spread like wild fire, people saying that they’ve broken up hence the indifference, but it was nowhere near the truth because Youngjae was still very much in love with his boyfriend.  If his boyfriend felt different then the cutie had no choice but to move on.

Thing is, he didn’t want to.

At least, not yet. There were so many things left unsaid. Youngjae never got the chance to tell Mark how much he loves it when he tries to hold back a smile. It always ended in vain and he would always end up smiling brightly (that was the best part), showing his perfect pearls to the world. It’s also freaking adorable when Mark mumbles a song to himself when no one is talking to him. The part of it was when he was caught in the act. His boyfriend would bashfully look at him with a shy smile that simply drove him crazy. Then there was also Mark’s habit of back hugging him in public. It always felt so warm and comfortable and perfect… If he could, he would never leave his arms and stay forever in his perfectly toned, strong arms.

In a sum, he really didn’t know why his boyfriend was acting like he was. It was starting to get worrisome and he couldn’t help but think, maybe, JUST MAYBE, as in it’s just a possibility, a what if that may or may not happen, a very bad feeling he has…

That maybe it’ll soon be their end.

Youngjae couldn’t deny it any longer that it wasn’t a possibility because it is one… he just hopes it wouldn’t end like that.

 

♦♦♦♦♦♦

 

However, God was just cruel like that. One day when Youngjae was returning to his apartment after a long day, he heard odd noises coming the inside. His heart against his chest in fear as he thought of the possibility of a thief, and he swallowed the uncomfortable lump he suddenly had in his throat. It should be alright, he reasoned. After all, he didn’t learn Taekwondo when he was younger for nothing… besides, Mark usually gets home earlier than him during week days.

As he entered, he checked before hand if there was someone in the living room and in the kitchen. He was in his stance, ready to defend himself in the worst case scenario, but as he saw nothing, he relaxed himself. Then where are the noises coming from?  

The cutie took slow and even steps, a cold sweat forming on his forehead as he got closer to the noisy room (their bedroom? Odd…). But he wasn’t _so_ deaf after all. Out of all the weird noises in the room, he could easily make out his boyfriend’s voice, moaning to boot. That’s when he thought it was strange and he wondered for a moment if he was touching himself, but as he listened, he noted there was another voice amongst the loud moaning. It was only then it hit him as suddenly as the wind blowing.

His boyfriend was fucking cheating on him.

Everything else suddenly started to make sense. The hints had been there right in front of him the whole time; why he wouldn’t hold his hand anymore, why he arrived home late now, why the sparkle (that Youngjae loved) he looked at him with faded away… Hurt was an overstatement of what he felt. He felt betrayed, heartbroken, used up, fooled… and all of that still couldn’t describe the giant beating his heart had just received. Tears started to fall effortlessly and he didn’t do anything at all to wipe them away. Instead, he breathed in and out deeply and mechanically, over and over again to calm himself down. Once he felt better, he finally wiped away his tears and held his head high, feeling new and stronger emotions take over.

He was furious (and no one messed with him for a reason).

Youngjae opened the door, smiling sweetly at the scene before. The two lovers before him jumped slightly at the new sound and both of their eyes opened wide at the sight of who it was. It was sort of comical in a way, the way how Mark looked panicked and the cutie found it boosting up his confidence. “Hi, Mark. I see your busy.” The cutie pointed out with a mocking and terribly adorable eye smile.

The pretty boy couldn’t even stutter out words and just stupidly blinked at the scene unfolding him.

“Well, since I’m just oh-so-kind, I’ll make this fast. We’re over.”

And that’s when Mark finally looked alarmed. “Wait, Jae!” he reached out for his hand, but the smaller one was faster and avoided his hand.

“Don’t you dare call me like that.” Youngjae let some of his true feelings come over him with a glare that sent his _ex_ \- boyfriend chills all the way down, and plastered another fake smile on his face. “I’ll be taking some of my stuff now. I’ll come by later to pick up the rest.”

The cutie tried to ignore how desperate his ex looked like. “Let me explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain.” Youngjae stated quietly and as a matter of fact. A little bitter too. “You cheated on me with him. Simple as that.”

And he made sure to leave no open argument by grabbing blinding some of his clothes and stuff, stuffing it inside a backpack. Then he was out of the apartment, ignoring his ex’s cries after him, and trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall once more. When he finally got to the nearest bus stop, he had a destination in mind already. He took out his cell phone and dialed up his best friend’s number, and waited patiently for his best friend to pick up the phone.

After a few seconds, his best friend finally answered. “Youngjae?” the other line answered cheerfully in a soothing voice.

“J-Jinyoung!” Youngjae finally broke out in a sob.

His best friend, Jinyoung, asked in urgency, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

And although the moment had happened so fast, the scene of Mark Tuan in bed with someone else haunted him and kept replaying in his head, making it hard to choke out the next four words.

“Ma-Mark cheated on me…!”

Since that moment, nothing was ever the same.


	2. Part 2

**Dating Mark Tuan** had been like a novel with it’s up and down’s, and its terrible ending. Youngjae still couldn’t believe he broke up with him (they had been together for years after all), but more than that, the fact that Mark Tuan cheated on him. The cutie had once seen the pretty boy as a perfect human being that was created by the gods (not anymore) with his never ending rains of smiles and kisses, the heart throbbing pick up lines he used on him, and all of his perfect _I love you’s_ when they woke up from and went back to sleep. But now he couldn’t even look back to his fond memories because they had been tainted by his resentful emotions. Where did everything go wrong…?

How much of it was true and how much of it was false?

Youngjae knew that thinking about this was useless at this point because there was nothing he could do about the past. What’s been done has been done already and he needed to accept it as it was. It haunted him though whenever he went back to sleep at his best friend’s house (since he didn’t have an apartment. He used to share one with Mark Tuan) and his mind was suddenly flooded with so many _unnecessary_ thoughts. Were all of his rains of kisses and smiles just a bluff? Were they even meant for him in the first place? No, it can’t be, Youngjae reasoned. He still had the sparkle in his eyes by then. Then what about the pick up lines? It wasn’t by then either; he still laughed whenever the cutie blushed at his straight-forwardness. Maybe it was around when he stopped saying the _I love you’s_ whenever they woke up from or went back to sleep. It must’ve been because he started acting weird afterword…

His nights are spent like this now, cranking his head for answers when the only one that has the answers to everything is Mark Tuan himself. The cutie tosses and turns in the couch (because Jinyoung won’t let him have his bed, claiming his back has been hurting for a while (but Youngjae knows it’s a shit excuse)), huffing and puffing and feeling angry all by himself. He gets up, giving up on trying to sleep and starts cleaning the house to distract himself from his thoughts. There have been too many occasions when his best friend wakes up and see’s the house sparkling from how much Youngjae has been cleaning it. Jinyoung knows how hard it’s been on him so he takes the time to make him some decent breakfast as a way of gratitude to the latter for cleaning his house. Usually after eating the delicious breakfast, the cutie slumps in the comfortable bed and sleeps until noon because of how tired he is.

Park Jinyoung hated seeing his best friend acting this way. Usually, the latter would be carefree and free spirited, boosting about how Mark Tuan did something that made his heart burst and getting embarrassed over it when he remembered the memory. He would witness for the one hundredth time his beautiful eye smile and his perfect white pearls, and remember why he hated Mark Tuan from the beginning. It was a simple reason, nothing too complicated about it or hard to understand. He thought he had overgrown the pain and forgotten all about it when he went out with his dates and shared countless passionate nights with a couple of them. It was a mess at the beginning; he screaming out a name that wasn’t his partners and being left behind by them. Jinyoung was so sure he had put it all behind him when he saw Youngjae with Mark Tuan, smiling more brightly than he ever had with him.

And yet, here he was, filled with hope.

Hope that just maybe, Youngjae was willing on forgetting that jerk that turned him into a mess. He was hoping to make the latter truly see him for the first time as more than a best friend. Maybe it was a cheap move to put the moves on him during such a sensitive time, but he’s been waiting for far too long already. He wasn’t about to let another chance pass like the first and last time it happened. Jinyoung had been too doubtful back then, too scared to do anything for him that he let the sneaky Mark Tuan steal him away from him. For now though, he won’t attack. The latter was still so mentally drained from everything and it wouldn’t be a rational and honest decision if he were to ask him out now. He wanted it to be because Youngjae wanted it, not because _he_ wanted it.

With that in mind, he approaches the latter with a tray on his hand, hoping that his best friend wouldn’t mind some hot chocolate. “Youngjae,” he called out, shaking the corpse that was currently on his bed with his foot because his hands weren’t free. “Wake up. I made you some hot chocolate.” The said latter groaned tiredly, cuddling and hugging closer the pillow ( _Jinyoung’s_ pillow, for that fact. He was so sure it would later smell like him and that would be problematic for many reasons).

“Just five more minutes…” he grumbled sleepily, inching away from the foot that was preventing him to sleep. Although the sight melted his heart, Jinyoung knew better than to give in like that because of previous situations.

(For example, back when they were both in high school and Youngjae hadn’t done his homework, he would always look for him. It was something that always bothered him, lending people his homework and letting them copy it, but somehow, his best friend was always the exception. He knew the latter worked hard for his grades and letting one or two times wouldn’t hurt neither of them.

Except that one time when the cutie was copying from him during a class because he didn’t have time later to do it. Unfortunately, the teacher caught him red handed and Youngjae was never one to lie, especially to his teacher. He confessed it was Jinyoung’s homework and that earned them detention after class and a deduction of a couple of points. Jinyoung was so pissed at him for letting himself be caught like that, but when he saw his best friend pouting and begging him to forgive him, he crumbled into pieces. That was the thing with him. He could never stay mad at him more than a minute because the cutie would manage somehow to get into his heart.

After that, it happened a couple of times more and he knew he couldn’t let himself give in to his best friend’s whims.)

He kicked the cutie a bit harsher because the hot chocolate was starting to get cold. “Yah, get your ass out of my bed, Youngjae. I made you some hot chocolate so drink it while I’m still treating you nicely.” Jinyoung growled impatiently, checking his watch. He was gonna be late to his work because of him again.

It was only then the cutie slowly got up, eyes still closed and adorable pink lips pouting (not to mention, some dried drool at the end of his lips). His hair was standing all the ways possible, a couple of knots that were rather visible at the end of his hair, and his sweater hanging loose on him, revealing some of his collarbones. He didn’t bother to dress himself up since he was comfortable like that, but mainly because it was Jinyoung. They’ve been together since forever so there was nothing to hide from each other. “You wouldn’t kick me…” Youngjae mumbled before yawning. His best friend’s words might sound harsh but he would never do that to him.

“Don’t test me then.” He answered curtly before handing him his hot chocolate. “Drink that and get dressed.”

The cutie looked up at him and tilted his head. “Why? Am I going somewhere?”

“Hope you don’t mind, but I signed you up for a job interview at my café.” Jinyoung said casually before nodding at him. “It’s time you start shaping up.”

He lowered his eyes to the hot chocolate and started to think how long it’s been since the break up. He realized it’s been almost two weeks since then but his heart still aches whenever he remembers the scene. Youngjae bit his lower lip uncertainly, “I… I don’t know. I mean, I don’t feel ready to get out yet…”

His best friend smiled at him, his eyes turning softer and sat down next to him. “It’s understandable, but you can’t let yourself drown in your own self pity. You need to move forward, Youngjae. That’s how the world works.”

“Y-Yeah, you’re right…” His eyes glossed a bit with emotion. “I… I’m sorry this has just been all so hard for me, you know?”

“Don’t worry, it’ll pass.” Jinyoung said, hugging him tightly before leaving. He flashed him a smile and everything seemed a little better than it was a minute ago. Youngjae managed to smile back at him before getting up and looking for some formal clothes. He had an interview after all…

 

♦♦♦♦♦♦

 

The interview went _okay_. Youngjae tried his best answering the questions and looking confident when in reality, he was all over the place. It had been a while since he last went looked for a part time job. The last time he was looking for one was a couple of months ago when he was still dating Mark Tuan, and it was a part time job at a clothing store. He remembered how smooth the interview had been, how confident he had been, and yet there was never a call. The latter didn’t mind because that way he could focus on his studies but Mark Tuan had none of that and took him out around the park to make him feel better.

There was no Mark Tuan now to make the uneasiness go away.

He was aware that there were a couple of questions that he didn’t answer exactly the way he should’ve, but they were a little difficult for him. Some questions were too personal for his taste and if he wasn’t in a tough situation at the moment, Youngjae thinks he would’ve left the interview half way. The cutie remembers the interview as he sits at one of the tables at the café his best friend worked at. (“ _Where do you see yourself in five years?”_ one of the men interviewing him asked, eyeing the paper and then him.

Youngjae tried hard not to snort because honestly, he was barely getting by now so why would he complicate himself and think about the future? “ _Oh, um, I think by then I’ll have finished studying and have already made my debut as a barista.”_ He answered, smiling a little because that had always been his dream.

The men nodded before another one piped in. “ _Why is there a gap in your employment? You were working for a couple of months at another café.”_

This is where the difficulty levels start to rise up by a centimeter. It’s true that before the break up and everything else, he had been working at a couple of months at another café. _“Were you fired? If so, why?”_

The latter turned paler at the memory but he still managed to have eye contact with the interviewers. “ _I wasn’t fired… I quit because of family reasons…”_ )

It was around then he saw his best friend approaching him at long last, and Youngjae never wanted to have someone’s presence as much as that moment. “It was horrible!!!” he exclaimed right away Jinyoung sat across him. The latter looked almost taken back because from what he remembered, his interview wasn’t so bad.

“Why? What happened?” he asked genuinely curious and confused as to what could’ve gone horrible for him.

“They asked me about my gap employment.”

“Oh.” Both males fell quiet, the tension overflowing incredibly in just a few seconds. Youngjae didn’t have to explain much to him because he already knew what he meant by that statement, and because he knew, he knew that the cutie didn’t feel the greatest at the moment. If there was a topic his best friend hated talking about, it was related to family matters and it was understandable. Whenever that topic popped up, the cutie’s face would turn grave and serious, his eyes hard and cold, displaying no emotion whatsoever. It was similar to now, Youngjae in his own world, deep in thought while Jinyoung worried about him like he always did. Thankfully, the cutie is easily distracted and it’s easier to cheer him up.

Jinyoung sighed before leaning in closer like he was going to say a secret and smiling wickedly at him. “You know what you need? You don’t, don’t you?”

The cutie humored him, shaking his head indifferent to his best friend.

“You need some puppy therapy and some ice cream.” He stood quickly, grabbing Youngjae’s wrist and pulling him along. Before taking off with his best friend, Jinyoung excused himself from his work and changed into his normal clothes.

Even after knowing Jinyoung all of his life, the cutie didn’t have a clue to where his best friend was taking him. All of his previous thoughts were forgotten momentarily as he was pulled by the male in front of him, for some odd reason, determined to make him feel better. Or well, it _shouldn’t_ be odd because that’s what friends do, right? The only reason why Youngjae thought it was odd because for some freaking reason, his face felt hot the moment the other took lead. He blinked many times, confused as to why he even feeling that and that it was all in his head. This was probably just some weird after effect of the break up is all, he convinced himself mentally. He was weak and vulnerable at the moment so this kind of thing was bound to happen at some point.

But with his _best friend_?

Like really? _How desperate am I?_ Youngjae’s mind reeled with dizziness, becoming ultra aware of the hand that was holding his wrist. This never happened before, him looking at his best friend like that… but now, everything seemed a _little_ different and frankly, the cutie wasn’t sure if that was good or not. The only thing he was sure was that Jinyoung’s hand felt really nice against his and really, really warm. It wasn’t anything like Mark Tuan’s hand, all cold and firm, but he guesses he himself made up for that. Thinking back on those days, it was nice for a while because he basically made up for whatever Mark Tuan lacked. Youngjae remembers thinking that it was like he was Mark Tuan’s other half and that’s why they fit each other so well… not anymore, anyways.

Both males continued walking in silence. They were certainly farther from the café they were just at and while Jinyoung seemed to walk around in familiarity, Youngjae stared at his surroundings curiously. He’s never been in that part of town after all. The most he had gone around there was at the café his best friend worked out and that was a couple of blocks away from they were at now. There were shops he had never seen before; some clothing stores while others were for phone repairs and what not, a few more cafes and restaurants, and some puppy stores. It wasn’t a busy street but there were still a couple of crowds crossing the roads and waiting for the cars to pass. The cutie wondered how much they had walked and how much was _left_ for them to walk. He was getting tired from all the walking they had done…

It was only then Jinyoung seemed to get happy about something. Before the cutie asked him about it, his best friend pulled him along, making Youngjae’s cheek burn even more than before. The latter stared at the back of the male in front of him and wondered if it was even okay to feel like that when they finally made a stop at a shop. The sudden stop made him snap out of the dangerous trail of thoughts and made him look immediately at the shop. A small smiled graced his lips when he saw it was a puppy store and he turned to his friend, looking at him curiously. He pointed at it, a playful tone in his voice. “Really?”

His best friend shrugged, smiling because he finally made the other smile. “Really.”

“Okay.” With that, Youngjae didn’t say anything else and instead, entered the store. The store was to be as expected, full of animals. There was a giant tank full of fishes, a couple of turtles around, some hedgehogs, another section full of kittens and then there was the section of puppies. His heart swelled with adoration at the sight of the puppies playfully playing with each other for his attention. All of the puppies were adorable but among them was one that stood out more with its pure white fur and its terribly dark eyes. They locked eyes and Youngjae knew at that moment, he had to take it with him back home.

It seemed Jinyoung also knew that he had to take it back home. With a sad (and heavy) heart, he looked away from the heartwarming scene and looked at his wallet. He couldn’t possibly buy it now. He didn’t have the money for it at the moment. Besides, did his best friend even know the commitment he needed to have once they buy the puppy?

The latter was in his own world, however, when he grabbed the puppy and brought it close to his heart. The puppy struggled a bit, trying to make itself comfortable, but once it did, it started to lick his face. Youngjae giggled, cheeks turning pink and rosy and feeling 100% better than he was before. “H-Hey, st-stop that,” he said in between giggles, but the puppy continued its rain of licks all over his face. “You’re so cute!”

He finally looked at his best friend with big, hopeful eyes. “Can we buy him?”

Jinyoung bit his lower lip. “We can buy it later? I don’t have money at the moment…”

“Oh…” Youngjae looked crestfallen and he looked back at the puppy, trying to smile at it. “Not today then. Sorry, cutie.” He kissed its tiny forehead and put it back where originally was.

They looked at the rest of the animals but it wasn’t the same. It certainly made the cutie feel better but the fact they couldn’t buy the puppy made him feel a little down. With a heavy heart, they both walked away from the shop but with different thoughts. “Don’t worry, Youngjae. We’ll visit again soon.” (“ _And buy it later.”_ He chose to leave out so it could be a surprise. _)_

The thought seemed to make the cutie feel better, looking at his friend with hopeful eyes and smiling a little. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

It was a little surprising to Youngjae how just a simple promise like that one made him feel instantly better. He supposes that it’s always been like that with his best friend. Although Mark Tuan had many ways to make him feel 100% again, Jinyoung had his own unique ways that certainly worked like a charm. The latter never made him feel little and pathetic for his worries, and instead heard him out attentively because he knew Youngjae had no one else to talk about his worries with. During such times, he shares some of his and they become closer, and it’s precisely during such times that he wonders why he picked Mark Tuan in the first place.

(But then a hundred million reasons pop up in his mind, and he feels angry and frustrated at himself for being so foolish and stupid.)

On their way back home, they stop by the convenience store and buy some ice cream for the apartment. The cutie has an idea of what his best friend is aiming for and is completely okay with it because he’s always down for some ice cream _and_ movies. They’re both loud and laughing as they walk up to their apartment, ignoring completely the annoying ringtone of the one that shall not be named anymore. Youngjae looks at his cell phone and his heart races hard against his chest when he sees the caller, but he chooses to ignore it and puts it on _do not disturb._ He smiles when Jinyoung finally opens their door and continues talking about their previous topic as if nothing happened. They both sit down next to each other on the couch as they search for a movie to watch, enjoying the freshness of the ice cream _and_ each others company. As time passes by and the clock _tick tock’s_ loudly, indicating its midnight already, they fall asleep on each other’s shoulder.

And for the first time in what seemed to be forever, Youngjae was able to sleep without waking up until it was finally 11 o’clock in the morning.


	3. Part 3

**Mark Tuan** made one tiny mistake that basically screwed up everything he had.

And that was, looking at someone else that wasn’t his boyfriend. At first, it wasn’t intentional or anything of the like. He just thought of them as someone good looking, someone _nice_ with really, like _really_ persuasive words. However, the more time he spent with them, the more he found himself leaning towards the dangerous temptation. There were far too many occasions it happened that he couldn’t bear to see his boyfriend smiling at him like he was the only one for him. The guilt was too much for him sometimes that he sought refuge from alcoholic beverages and stayed out later than he should have.

The one time he _actually_ gave in to the god forbid temptation, Youngjae caught him in the act and he hated himself ever since then. (He wasn’t really sure why he even gave in the first place because it’s not like his boyfriend was lacking anything. He _certainly_ wasn’t lacking anywhere near the sexual department (Mark likes to think his thighs are a blessing) or anywhere else for that fact.) They’ve been together for a little too long now that he knows Youngjae like the back of the hand. All of it; that smile, that confidence, that sassiness he had was all a front.

The truth was that he was really close to crying and Mark hated every bit of himself for that. He was a scum for making his sunshine make that type of face, for making him go through that type of thing… Youngjae actually deserves someone so much better than him. Heck, Mark would even go as far as to say the cutie deserves the world because _he actually does._ The problem was that Youngjae was _his_ world and now he’s gone, and now he’s not sure of anything at all anymore. He completely cut off ties with the one that caused everything, tried calling his cell phone one hundred times and even asked around his friends if they knew anything about him.

But it was like Youngjae had turned into a ghost.

No one knew anything about him because no one had seen him since the morning of the day it happened. They kept telling him the same thing over and over: that he should ask his best friend, Park Jinyoung. Mark was running out of options but there was no way in Hell that he would ask _that_ person about Youngjae. They didn’t get along exactly and he knew why. The only reason why he didn’t tell the cutie to stay away from him was because they were childhood friends. He couldn’t possibly do that to him…

He was lying down on their used to be shared bed, sighing for the one hundredth time as he rolled around in his bed. Life without Youngjae around was particularly boring, he noted, because the cutie was always brimming with life everywhere he went. There wasn’t a day that passed that wasn’t boring at all and he smiles, a little bitterly, at a passing memory of the first days they moved in together. The cutie was a mess of nerves, blushing at every skin contact they had and squealing like a girl whenever he sneaked up on him. Mark remembers how Youngjae used to slap him in the arm, pouting adorably and retreating to their room only to comeback like nothing happened. “I forgive you for now.” He used to say to him in a playful matter, but now he wasn’t joking.

Mark was well aware earning his forgiveness would not be easy.

Or trust for that matter. Especially since the cutie already has issues trusting people easily from the beginning. He groaned; his hands on his face, “Why did I do that? Why am I so stupid? Why, why, why, whyyyyyyyy!!!”

It’s not like he was expecting an answer from God or anyone else. He knew the answer well already even if they did manage to answer him (which he seriously wonders how that would happen). Lying down on his bed like this was pessimistic and not good for his mental state so he got up and tried distracting himself. He tried cleaning the apartment a bit and found two or three things that he thought he had lost and a couple of unwanted guests. It wasn’t his first time cleaning but it was his first time cleaning _alone_. For some reason, Youngjae loved cleaning with him; said it was fun because it also relaxed him and got his mind off things. Mark always wondered what he was always thinking about that he needed to get his mind off things, but he never questioned him about it and instead, let him clean with him. For one thing, it was a lot easier than doing it alone and like Youngjae said, it was a lot more fun doing it with someone else.

However, that day he found that having no company for once was nice. For some reason, not once during his quest to clean the apartment did he think about his worries. He guesses this is what Youngjae meant that time; he was so focused on cleaning that he forgot what was bothering him for a moment. It actually felt liberating for the first time in weeks to not be worrying about something, and surprisingly, he enjoyed cleaning (except of course, when he had to deal with the nasty guests). His legs hurt at the end of the day from squatting too much during cleaning and his arms feel like noodles from how much he used them. His forehead was dripping from sweat and he cringed whenever he wiped some off. A bath was in order now. After catching his breath a moment or two, he gets up and grabs his pajamas and strips his sweaty clothes off. The cold air still bothers him; it just reminds him of how warm Youngjae kept him, and he quickly gets in the bathroom.

He’s in there for a long time. Mark’s not sure of how long he’s been but all he knows is that it’s not enough. Ever since that day, he’s been scrubbing his body twice as hard as he could. He can’t stand the thought of having touched another person other than Youngjae, and he feels as if the water can purify him from his sins. There’s always a moment when he thinks its enough, that he’s washed most away of his sin when he’s instantly reminded of the person underneath him. The guilt is too much that he spends more time in the bathroom than needed. Mark has seriously considered going to the psychiatrist because this isn’t normal behavior, but he never goes because he believes he can get over it. He breathes in unevenly and closes his eyes, washing away everything…

Mark finally opens his eyes as he finally gets out of the shower. He feels light headed and hot for some reason, and he’s not entirely aware that he steps out into his bedroom naked, looking for his phone. He dials a phone number that he knows by heart and waits for the person to answer his call… and waits… and waits…

And he continues to wait like an idiot until he’s finally re-directed to the voice mail. “ _Hello, this is Choi Youngjae!_ ” the voice continued. “ _If I didn’t answer your call, I was probably busy! Leave a message and I’ll call you back later!_ ” A loud beep is heard on the other side and Mark doesn’t debate much whether he should or shouldn’t even be doing this. “Uh, hi. It’s me, Mark. Listen, we really need to talk and I would appreciate it if you would call me back. See ya later.”

A couple of minutes pass when it finally dawns to him that was the first time he’s heard Youngjae’s voice for the first time in weeks. He never realized how much he missed it until that moment and the tears naturally fall on cue.

 

♦♦♦♦♦♦

 

Jinyoung was contemplating whether to bother Youngjae. That morning when he woke up, he was surprised to see the cutie sleeping for once. Usually he was up before him and while he was happy about it, he was also very pleasantly surprised to see him with his head on his shoulder. He remembers bits of last night; both of them laughing like there was no tomorrow and pausing the movie whenever they couldn’t stop laughing. He remembers thinking that it was very nice to see Youngjae laughing like he used to and he was once again tempted to take a risk; to kiss him. The thought has crossed so many times through his head that he has to slap himself out of it.

But just maybe, one of these days he has a chance.

It fills him with a glee unlike before, his eyes crinkling at the corner because of how much he’s smiling. It’s starting to hurt a little but he doesn’t care. Jinyoung wants to relish this happiness for as long as possible and he stays still with the cutie still sleeping on his shoulder. When Youngjae sleeps, he’s quiet. He doesn’t make any sounds at all except when he breathes quietly through his mouth. To be able to listen to it, you need to be quiet just like how he was now. His eyelashes also seem longer when his eyes are closed and Jinyoung holds himself back from looking closer than he already was. He brushes a couple of hair strands that fell out of place and gently puts them back where it was, his eyes fond and soft at the sight.

It’s only then that he decides to wake up the latter by shaking him lightly. “Youngjae, wake up.” He whispers. “It’s morning already.”

The cutie was knocked out. On most days, he tells Jinyoung to knock it off and to go bother someone else, or he just grumbles something in his sleep. He never does knock it off except for that day. He stops shaking Youngjae and sighs as he goes to the kitchen. “I’ll let it slide today.” He murmurs as he eyes what he has in his pantry.

When he sees nothing, he checks his refrigerator for some eggs he could make. He takes some of them out, along with some milk and butter. The fry pan is already out but he takes out some of the other things he will need. Jinyoung stops for a moment, trying to see if he forgot something when at that moment he hears the annoying ringtone from the one and only. His peachy mood takes a 180 degree curve, and his face is now impassive as he looks for the source of the disturbance. It doesn’t surprise him when he sees Mark Tuan’s name flashing, but what does piss him off is the fact he’s calling Youngjae again. When he finally answers it, he’s in his room so he doesn’t disturb his best friend from his sleep. “ _Hello, Youngjae?”_ Mark Tuan’s voice flows into his ears and he hates it so much that he’s unaware of the anger building up inside of him.

“Youngjae isn’t here.” He replied curtly, trying to refrain himself from starting a fight so early in the morning.

 _“Wait, what are_ you _doing with his phone?_ ” Mark Tuan sounded confused and maybe a little pissed, but Jinyoung didn’t really care if he was. “ _Don’t tell me he’s staying over at your house?_ ”

“And what if he is?” He snapped. “It shouldn’t really matter to you because you guys broke up already. Besides, you cheated on him if you forgot.”

There was silence for a moment and Jinyoung wondered if he ended the call. To his surprise, Mark Tuan hadn’t ended the call just yet. “ _I-It was just one mistake…_ ” he whispered and if he didn’t hate the guy, he would think he was being sincere. “ _I swear… it was just that_ one _time. I didn’t mean for it to happen…”_

He scoffed in disbelief. “Hablando claro Mark, deja de ser pendejo, y habla con Youngjae. No me estes diciendo estas cosas si ni soy el.”

And he was suddenly very glad he took that Spanish class because Mark didn’t understand what he said at all. With that, he ended the call without hearing what he had to say because he’s had enough of his shit for one day. He sighed, thinking back to their conversation just now and how Mark Tuan’s voice genuinely sounded apologetic and crushed. It really shouldn’t bother him, but it did because what if there _was_ some truth in his words?

But what if it just another lie?

Another lie to make Youngjae crawl back into his arms. His heart race fastened at the thought and for a moment, he thought it would burst from how fast it was. The possibility enraged him and he couldn’t possibly risk his best friend going back to that rat. While a part of him was worried for his best friend, another part of him was equally selfish of him. It made him feel confused over his own feelings; should he sacrifice his own happiness or go for it anyways?

(He thinks then that maybe that was why Mark Tuan was able to snatch him away from him, because he dwelled too much the pros and the cons, and what would happen afterword.)

He bites his lower lip in thought, not realizing that the cutie had woken up already. There was some noise coming from the kitchen and he briefly wonders if he had left something cooking already. Jinyoung snaps out of his thought when his best friend peeks into the room from the door and smiles adorably at him. “’Morning. Want some eggs?”

“I was actually about to make some for us.” He smiles as he hides Youngjae’s cell phone in his pocket.

Youngjae chuckles, his eyes turning into crescents. “Awesome, telepathy.”

Awesome, indeed.

 

♦♦♦♦♦♦

 

Youngjae feels like he’s in high spirits ever since the moment he woke up. He’s not sure whether it has to do with the fact he ignored a certain someone’s call or if it was because of the great time he spent yesterday or if he slept awesome last night. Maybe it was all of that but he decided not to dwell on so much as to the why and instead, focus on the now.

Like how he got the job at the café anyways.

It seriously surprised him because he thought he failed the interview with his vague background, but he’s ecstatic either way. When Jinyoung received the news and told him, he hugged him immediately, happiness bubbling all over inside of him. Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh at loud and tear up a bit at all of the excitement, but his best friend didn’t hold it against him. Instead, he stopped hugging him for a brief moment and looked into his eyes and for a moment, the cutie couldn’t properly breathe because all of the adoration he saw in his best friend’s eyes. “You did well, Youngjae.” Jinyoung said fondly as he ruffled his hair, making it into a mess but he didn’t mind it so much. It made his cheeks feel warm and his stomach all fuzzy so he just nervously chuckled, murmuring a low thank you.

Shortly after that, Youngjae looked into his closet and wondered what he should wear for his first day at work. His best friend explained to him that they had to change into uniforms later, but he figured wearing something appropriately wouldn’t hurt for a first impression. It feels as if it’s almost been a while since he felt this excited to do something, and he wonders for a while when was the last time as he takes time looking at his clothes. The last time, he thinks, was when he was preparing for his late date with a certain nobody, which was maybe a month ago or something. His smile freezes and he looks at the ground for a moment, before he breathes in and out steadily. “You can do this…” he whispers and repeats it to himself for a couple of more times before he hears a knock. He’s aware it’s Jinyoung and he grabs whatever he sees first, and quickly starts to change into some clothing. “Y-Yes?”

“We leave in a couple of minutes so hurry up!” He said.

He looks at himself in the mirror and to his surprise, he didn’t look half bad. Youngjae was wearing a simple button t-shirt with some black, skinny jeans that hugged his thighs perfectly. The cutie grinned, feeling his confidence boosting up as he styled a bit his hair. Once he finally gave himself the okay, he grabbed his bag and made a mental note to return to the university tomorrow. He probably has lots of homework piled up already and while he’s not entirely sure if he’s looking forward of what’s in store to him, he doesn’t mind it so much. The load of work for once seems appealing to him and he’s willing to dedicate as much time as possible to catch up again.

The café wasn’t far. It was farther from the university and his old apartment, but it was close to where they were living at the moment. Youngjae wasn’t as nervous as he was before when he was interviewed, but he certainly couldn’t help but feel awkward with everything. Jinyoung seemed to fit in perfectly with the café with his casualness and friendliness towards his coworkers, and they seemed to be equally as friendly towards him. He walked around in familiarity while the cutie walked behind him with insecurities clouding his mind, his tail practically in between his legs. His new coworkers seemed to be amused by him and a couple of them even offered him a smile, and he returned the smile with a small bow before disappearing from their sight.

If Jinyoung’s noticed his distress, he doesn’t mention of it and instead hands him his new uniform. “Change into this.” he said before turning his back to him and start stripping his clothes off. A new worry is added when Youngjae notices his best friend’s back muscles a little too much and he quickly looks away somewhere, desperately praying for him to have a shirt on again. The cutie gulps nervously as he unbuttons his shirt one by one and he takes it off with shaky hands. For some reason, seeing his body like that was different than all the other time he’s seen it and he wonders if it’s because of how hot it suddenly feels in the room. He breathes in and out steadily, trying not to take another peek at Jinyoung’s body, when he finishes dressing up into his uniform. Youngjae is quickly distracted by the knock on the door and he instinctively looks over to see who it was. It was a handsome guy that looked more or less around their age, with sharp eyes and an intense stare that had him squirming a bit. “Oh, JB!” his best friend called, smiling at the stranger. “Next time knock, will you?”

“I did knock though,” This JB person rolls his eyes and gestures to the cutie. “Are you the new employee?”

“Y-Yes!” Youngjae blinked a couple of times before bowing properly. “I’m Choi Youngjae! Nice to meet you!”

“Im Jaebum.” He replied curtly before gesturing him to follow him. “I’ll be the one taking care of you until you learn the ropes.”

The cutie nodded, sparing his best friend a glance and a small wave before he left. Jinyoung gives him two thumbs up with a smile in return.

There was nothing relatively complicated about his job and nothing he hadn’t done before except maybe being a waiter. That was one of the jobs; whoever was a waiter or waitress needed to greet the customers and get their order. It’s not that he couldn’t do it; he was just a little more awkward at interacting with people than the rest were. Thankfully, his specialty lied somewhere else (meaning behind the counter) and he didn’t need to interact so much with the customers unless there was no choice and they talked to him personally. The other job belonged to a kid named Kim Yugyeom and he was the pastry chef on most days. When he wasn’t around, the pastry chef was a girl named Park Choa that was pretty popular among the customers.

The rest of the day went by smoothly without any major slip ups. Youngjae was already used to his job and was making coffee for a couple of customers, while Jinyoung was one of the waiters. It was as if the cutie had worked there from the very beginning because he had no trouble in getting along with the rest. Maybe the introductions were awkward but because they had something in common, it made it easier for both sides and before they knew it, they were chatting and joking around. He no longer felt insecure and like an outsider, and felt comfortable with his surroundings. The café was like his third home after his temporary shared apartment with his best friend (his shared apartment with his ex was still first), and to someone like him, that meant a lot. As he grinded the beans, Youngjae thought back to his dysfunctional house he grew up in when he was younger and smiled bitterly at the memory.

It was strange how the familiar scent of coffee instantly made him think back to the big tree house he used to play in, making secret spy plans to grab a snack without getting noticed. That was back when things were still pretty good; back when his mother loved making some coffee for his nanny and father. He remembers the wind blowing through the trees and him lying down in the tree house for hours, getting lost in his own little world and the hypnotizing smell of coffee. He also remembers the first appearance his best friend made into his life, calling out his name from somewhere and Youngjae peeking out his head from the tree house. He doesn’t remember exactly what their first conversation was like but after that, they hung out in the tree house for hours. Somewhere along the way though, Youngjae found himself hiding in his tree house from the harsh reality and pretended to be okay…

He finally finished up the orders and gave them to Jinyoung so he could take them back, sighing as he waked back into the changing room. His shift was finally over and he was tired, the most tired he’s been in a while, but he doesn’t mind it so much. Instead, he finds some pride in it and happily strips off his uniform so he could leave. It’s suddenly colder than it was a second ago and Youngjae grabs his shirt, just about to put it on when he hears a knock. On a reflex, he quickly puts it on before his best friend comes in smiling. “Wait for me, okay? Let me change quickly.” However, from past experiences, he nods and leaves the room for a moment so that the incident from the morning wouldn’t happen again.

“Oh…” he murmurs quietly as he saw Jaebum on the phone, looking somewhat distressed. It looks like the call isn’t going through, and the male sighs before putting it away and going back to work. Even though they’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, it was weird for him to be like that. All day long, the latter had been nothing but hard working and firm, smiling only once in a while when Jinyoung made a joke. They’re relationship was a curious one and Youngjae would be lying if he said it didn’t make him interested whether there was more to it or not. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt an arm around his shoulders and looked up to see a wide grin from his best friend. “Let’s get going, yeah?”

Pink painted his cheeks and he brushed away the latter’s arms away from him, suddenly embarrassed and shy. “L-Let’s get something to eat.” _Smooth_. “I’m _starving._ ”

“Sure! What do you wanna eat?”

(He thanked the gods Jinyoung didn’t notice his voice cracking slightly, which again was ridiculous because he should be over this. They were best friends for God’s sake…)

 

♦♦♦♦♦♦

 

The next few days were relatively peaceful. Youngjae was switching between university and his part time job at the café, and it was stressful up until certain points. For one thing, he leaves the university in between classes because he has the longest break ever. During that break, he does his homework and studies for his other classes in their apartment. His last class of the day was later than the rest so he had to go back to the university to get it over with so then he could finally leave the university and start his shift at the café. The café during the evenings is peaceful and there are hardly any customers so he can relax a little. Not for too long though because Jaebum doesn’t let anyone slack off. After that, he leaves the café with Jinyoung around 7 o’clock and helps his best friend with the cooking. They eat, relax, take a bath and he studies some more before falling asleep around 12 o’clock. Besides that, Youngjae found it pretty peaceful.

There had been the calls that he received from the one that shall not named anymore, but he ignored them successfully (though a little doubtful before doing so). He likes to think that he’s moving on from him, that he’s slowly getting over the whole thing, but the reality of things is much more complicated than that. His heart still aches for him whenever he sees his name flashing on the phone screen, when he unconsciously thinks of him, when he’s moments from falling asleep… _It’s_ _like I’m in some sort of rehab_ , Youngjae thinks one day as he’s writing down something for an assignment with a cup of coffee on the side, _because I was clearly too addicted to a certain male and Jinyoung just took pity on me_. He quickly snapped out of it when he realized he actually wrote that down on the assignment and groaned because he’ll have to start all over again. He wrote it with sharpie pens. Yes, he could use some liquid paper but it’ll look ugly otherwise.

(He made a mental note to never use sharpie pens when he’s doing an assignment.)

Coffee reminded him of many things and not necessarily all of his memories were pleasant ones. However, as he began writing his assignment again, Youngjae couldn’t help but think back a little when he was still dating a certain male. He remembers the first time they met was over a cup of coffee in a café similar to the one he was working at. He was cramming for an exam he had the next day when he noticed someone had left him a cup of coffee with a note that had a number and a nicely written “good luck”. It made his heart skip a beat because those kinds of things simply didn’t happen to him or at all in real life for that fact. The fact that it did happen though made him curious and intrigued enough to text the person that night. Luckily, the person answered quickly and they texted each other all night, and even though Youngjae had an exam the next day, he didn’t regret not sleeping. After a couple of more texts, they finally met in person and he knew he was in love. It turned out they were going to the same high school and that made everything a whole lot better than it was already. The rest is history.

There’s a smile by the time Youngjae finished his assignment, and it’s a strange thing how there’s warmth all over his chest. His gaze is soft as he looks over his papers, a small smile is gracing his lips and a tint of red painted his cheeks. It’s silent in the apartment; the only things heard were his occasional scribbles and his movements when he moved some papers around. Then there was his erratic heart. It felt like it was going to explode from how fast it was beating, from how _happy_ he was, from how the certain male made him feel all over again. It was ridiculous that a mere memory from like a century ago made him feel like he couldn’t breathe properly. And although he wanted to be angry at himself for being so wishy washy, he just couldn’t. Because the truth is…

It was useless at this point though. Mark (he was gonna stop referring him to “the one that shall not be named anymore” because it’s ridiculous) was probably way over him at this point and was having the time of his life with his lover. If he was having a great time, then why shouldn’t he? He has just as much rights to be happy as he was so what was stopping him from being happy? Youngjae nodded firmly at his thoughts, trying to calm his heart beating, and then stood up abruptly. He walked away from his assignments and grabbed a coat, heading to the door when there was a knock. He stopped on his tracks, surprised by it for a moment before he opens it without hesitating. He really should’ve hesitated because in front of him was the one and only, Mark Tuan.

Mark Tuan was breathing, alive and very much standing in front of him, except it’s like how he quite remembers him. The Mark Tuan he remembers is a much more confident one, his gaze intense and hot, a perfect smile on his face and a much happier one. This Mark Tuan looked like a lost puppy with big uncertain eyes peering into his, his smile nowhere present. He was nervous, Youngjae could tell with the way he looked away from his eyes and looked somewhere else. It was unsettling to see him like this because the resolve he made just a couple of minutes ago was starting to crumble. All he really wanted to do was to take him into his arms and make him forget about everything bad that’s worrying him. He had a couple of issues to solve himself, but Mark Tuan had never been a strong either when it came to strong topics.

They stood there, silence engulfing both males until one of them spoke up. “W-What do you want?” Youngjae stuttered and cursed inwardly for it.

Mark Tuan looked taken back that it was the cutie the one that spoke first, but he swallowed thickly before answering. “I, you, uh…” he struggled over his words and Youngjae would’ve found it endearing if it wasn’t for his heart breaking into pieces. “You wouldn’t answer my calls.”

The cutie didn’t answer and instead opted to continue looking at him as he spoke. This apparently made him more nervous as he avoided looking into his eyes again. “And, uh, I really wanted to talk about what happened t-that day.”

“Look, we both know what happened that day. There’s no need to explain to me how you two started to get it on or anything.” Youngjae growled back, surprised at his own sudden change of attitude and courage. “I was actually going to do something before you appeared so let’s act like this little bump into each other didn’t happen, Okay? Okay.”

He lightly pushed Mark out of the way, closing the door behind him and started to walk away when the other male grabbed him by his wrist. “You’re doing it again.” He murmured quietly, but loud enough for Youngjae to hear him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Not hearing me out.” Anger boiled inside of the cutie as he struggled from trying to get away from Mark’s touch. It was familiar and yet so alien at the same time because he knew he had touched someone else with those hands of his. His touch wouldn’t be the same anymore because it just reminds him of the horrible memory. It sickens him knowing that Mark even had the guts to hold his wrist like this… “Let go of me.” He demanded.

“No. Not until you hear me out.” His hold on his wrist was firm and all of a sudden, his previous nervousness was gone. The Mark Tuan that was holding him back was one that he was used to seeing whenever they fought about something. “I don’t want to.” Youngjae narrowed his eyes at him, a deep frown forming on his lips. He was starting to get tired of this when Mark’s hold on him started to loosen up a bit, his gaze softening and a tiny, almost bittersweet smile on his face now.

“ _Please_.” The funny thing is that it made him stop struggling. Youngjae’s eyes were still narrowed, not out of anger or dislike or anything remotely similar to that, but they were searching for something. He wasn’t entirely sure what he searching for; maybe any traces of dishonesty or a sign of cracking up like this was some big fat prank, but when he saw nothing of that, he figured that maybe he could listen to what he had to say. (He tried to suppress the sudden flame of hope blooming inside of him, by convincing himself that Mark just wanted to say sorry things didn’t work out, that he hopes the best for him…)

When Mark saw that the cutie wasn’t making any signs of struggle anymore, he took this as a sign to keep going. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself for whatever outcome this could end with. He ignored the thumping of his heart in his ears and went for it. “Okay, so I know that the last time we met, I was with someone else.” He started off slowly, waiting for Youngjae to encourage him further. The cutie nodded slowly as if unsure where this direction was going to. “But I swear it wasn’t like that. I mean, it happened that one time only. After you saw us like that…” He paused, inhaling and exhaling again. “I couldn’t bring to look at myself at the mirror again. We were friends but I broke off all kinds of connections with them.” He licked his lips before meeting half way Youngjae’s gaze again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that… even though all of this happened… I still want to be with you.”

And that was the final emotional straw for Youngjae.

He looked away from his eyes, unable to hide his feelings anymore. His eyes were glossy from all kinds of emotions he was feeling, his mind a mess with thoughts and questions, and his stupid heart wouldn’t keep calm. He was speechless for a moment, lost as to what to say in return, his feelings contradicting one another. “I…” he started to say, surprised at how even and calm his voice sounded even though he was all over the place. “I, I’m sorry, Mark, but if you wanna be with me again, you gotta win me over again. I wanna be with someone that truly loves me, that won’t look away from me even for a second, you know?”

The other male nodded timidly. “I’ll, uh, take that as your giving me another chance?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Youngjae shrugged a little too casually, smiling a little at him.

Mark smiled widely now, the way he always used to when they were together, easily taking away what’s left of the cutie’s breath. His smile had more damage on him than usual because he hadn’t seen him in a while. It was one of the things that made him so madly in love with him before after all… “You better look out for me then. You’ll be falling in love with me all over again.” He had leaned a little too close than what Youngjae would’ve liked, the flush evident on his face.

“Yeah right…”

And then, he felt it. Soft familiar lips were against his for a fleeting moment and before Youngjae had time to register what happened, Mark escaped, winking at him mischievously. The cutie stood there dumbly, his whole face bright red and his hand going to his lips. There was a red siren going on and off in his head, meaning that he was already screwed before anything else went down. “No. _No_. What happened to that resolve of moving on? You still have a chance to move on, don’t give up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** “Hablando claro Mark, deja de ser pendejo, y habla con Youngjae. No me estes diciendo estas cosas si ni soy el", means stop being a dick and talk to Youngjae instead of me in rly simple words. :)
> 
> Hope its worth the read? Enjoy!


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